Am I Holy Because I live a Holy Life?
I’ve had people ask me why I have such strong feelings and a no compromise attitude when it comes to the doctrine of holiness. But if you understand where I’ve been then you’ll understand why.
In 1998 when I heard the audible voice of God calling me to serve Him, it radically transformed my life in an instant. His love took such hold of me that I would pray and spend at least 8-10 hours a day in His presence, many times not even eating just because His love had captured me. Then as the months passed by, I met other “charismatics” that started telling me about “paying the price” to see the power of God move in my life. Saying that through the ridding myselff of everything not of God and living a life of holiness, God’s power could then flow in my life. I then continued to pray for 8-10 hours a day, fasting at least 3-4 days every week and many times 10-14 days once to twice monthly to get more of God’s power in my life. I dedicated my life to scripture and the presence of God, but gradually, even though I was spending all this time with God, the intimacy I had experienced in the beginning began to fade. Even the supernatural experiences began to occur less often. I struggled to try and find out why, after all, I was spending time with God and living a more holy life than most could imagine. I searched and searched trying to find the spot or blemish in my life that was limiting the power of God from manifesting. I even explored generational curses that my ancestors brought about that could be limiting the flow of the power of God in my life. Then gradually and lovingly Daddy showed me where the problem was. It wasn’t sin, it wasn’t a curse, it was my righteousness.
But we are all like an unclean thing, And all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags; (Isaiah 64:6)
It all started with spending time with Daddy because of love, allowing Him to father me and spending enormous amounts of time with Him because I wanted to be with my Daddy. The power flowed in my life 24/7 and everything was easy. Then everything began to change as I began “paying a price”, trying to get what He had already given me. Daddy then revealed to me that my righteousness is by the sacrifice of Jesus and that alone. I can’t add anything to it and if I try to gain righteousness, favor, power, or anything else in my life by acting Holy, then that lifestyle is like filthy rags to God,; basically I was saying that Jesus’ sacrifice wasn’t enough. I was declaring that I must add to the sacrifice, and that belief system is Anti-Christ.
It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God–that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. (1Cor. 1:30)
I’ve learned the hard way, Jesus alone is my wisdom, righteousness and holiness. He made me righteous and holy and my actions have nothing to do with it. I am righteous and holy by faith in the finished work of the cross. It was that revelation that has allowed the power of God and supernatural experiences to once again start manifesting. It is that revelation that has caused me to fall more in love with Daddy and rest in His love instead of working for it.